What do I do if I keep repeating the same thing over and over, expecting a different result?

The act of observation will already inform you a certain level of awareness. Without awareness the pattern can be endless. The fact you are aware will automatically promote change. It takes a lot of inner fortitude to bring about change. To consciously choose to make a choice for the better, victory is on its way. Huge congratulations on this awareness.

The next part is the challenge and opportunity of when and how long will it continue? For some the easy answer maybe a therapist of some level. For others it may take time to finesse a constructive form of solution. Gathering of ones sources to head up support, accountability, service as well of course as inner healing.